Tag Archives: SIster

Big Family

August 13, 2024 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.
1 Thessalonians 2:7b-8 (NIV)

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that Wendy had her friends over this past Saturday night. This group of ladies became friends when they were all single in their twenties. They have shared life together ever since. They have been part of one another’s weddings and have celebrated and supported one another through babies, toddlers, children, and teens. They regularly communicate, make a point of seeing one another, and have enjoyed girls’ weekends together. They are “the Golden Girls.”

As a husband, it has been a quiet joy for me to watch these ladies do life together so well. And, I really mean that they do life with one another. I’ve watched them share with one another in their pain, struggles, and tragedies. They go deep, dig in, and encourage one another in every part of life. Wendy is blessed to have them. I’m blessed that she has them.

In today’s chapter, I thought it fascinating that Paul describes his and his compatriots (Timothy and Silas) brief time among the new Thessalonian believers by metaphorically naming all the key members of a nuclear family within a few verses of one another:

…”we were like young children among you.” (vs. 7a)
“Like a nursing mother cares for her children.” (vs. 7b)
“Surely you remember, brothers and sisters…” (vs. 9)
“…we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children.” (vs.11)

As I meditated on this in the quiet this morning, I was reminded of the time when Jesus was speaking to a house that was absolutely packed with people listening. When His mother and siblings showed up to see him, they couldn’t get in and sent a message to Him.

Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.”

“Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked.

Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

Mark 3:31-34 (NIV)

Along my life journey, I have experienced and observed exactly what Jesus was getting at. Individuals who spiritually share life together for a period of time become a type of family. What Paul was telling his spiritual Thessalonian “children” was that he purposefully embraced all facets of family in his relationship with them. He was innocent and honest as a child. He nurtured and spiritually fed them the “milk” of God’s word. He was, at the same time, like a father as he spiritually instructed, encouraged, and equipped them. He considered them his brothers and sisters in God’s family.

I am blessed with a great nuclear family. The further I get on life’s road and hear the stories of others, the more grateful I’ve become for this. At the same time, both Wendy and I recognize that we are doubly blessed to have an extended family of individuals and couples we do life with. Along the way, I have found that Spirit goes deeper than blood in binding lives together. Jesus alluded to this multiple times.

In the quiet this morning, I find my heart whispering prayers of gratitude for my family members, both blood and Spirit. I’m thankful for a big, big family of individuals on this life journey who have nurtured me like mothers, encouraged and equipped me like fathers, and walked alongside me as siblings. I pray that I have and continue to do the same nurturing, loving, encouraging, and equipping in others’ lives.

I love that genetic science has proven that we all descended from the same woman. I have come to believe that God’s Kingdom is about embracing the reality that all of us are one big family and loving one another accordingly.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The Appeal of a Cloistered Life

March 2, 2016 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one….As you have sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.
John 17:15, 18 (NRSV)

There has always been something about monastic life that has secretly appealed to me. I like the idea of leaving everything behind to live simply and humbly in quiet devotion. Whenever I hear or read about a monastery or convent, there’s a piece of my heart that envies the brothers and sisters who lead a cloistered life.

Along my journey I have recognized that there are different types of cloistered lives. In the Roman Catholic tradition it is a very specific separation from the world as the monks or nuns live in community with one another in a sequestered space. In the Evangelical tradition I have grown up in, we also have a version of the cloistered life. Our version of it is more subtle. We separate ourselves from the world while still appearing to live in it.

Our social lives revolve around our church or Christian school. We attend Christian concerts, frequent Christian bookstores, and hang out with others in Christian coffee shops. We read Christian fiction and listen to Christian music on Christian radio stations. We decorate our homes with Christian decor and watch Christian movies and Christian television programs. We put Christian bumper stickers on our cars. We may appear to live in the world, but the reality is that our lives are carefully, surgically separated and cloistered from it.

I cannot, however, escape the simple and direct statements Jesus made in today’s chapter. He is sending His followers into the world. He is not sending them to live in insulated, cloistered community where they will be safe, secure, and insulated. He is sending them into the world where there is darkness, danger and the threat of harm. That is why the Father’s protection is necessary.

Today, I am thinking about the cloistered life. It will likely never cease to appeal to me. It is not, however, the path to which I am called. Jesus calls me, not out of the world, but into the world where I am often thought strange, where I am regularly misunderstood, and where I routinely feel awkward and out of place. That’s the mission, however. It was the mission for Jesus, and it’s the mission that He gave to those of us who follow.

Remember When Wednesday

Ready to Launch

August 19, 2015 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

On “Remember When Wednesdays” I look back at a post from yesteryear and re-blog one for newer readers. This was originally posted in September 2013 shortly after Wendy’s sister, Suzanna, came to live with us. Today, Wendy and I take Suzanna to UNI and she begins a new stretch of her life journey. Suzanna is ready to launch and I couldn’t be more proud of her…

I have the highest confidence in you, and I take great pride in you. You have greatly encouraged me and made me happy despite all our troubles. 2 Corinthians 7:4 (NLT)

Late this summer Wendy and I were blessed to have Wendy’s youngest sibling, Suzanna, come and live with us. Suzanna is attending her final year of high school here at the local public high school and getting involved in some of the artistic exploits she loves and are available to her in our wonderful little community. Last night was parent teacher conferences and we headed over to check in with Suzanna’s teachers. I must admit that it was a bit surreal returning to the high school. Madison graduated three years ago and I thought I was finished. But, you never know where the path will lead and what adventures lie ahead of us on the journey.

Having a teenager back in the house has prompted this father to a lot of personal reflection in the past few weeks. It has brought back a lot of memories, and even made me wax a little nostalgic for the days when Taylor and Madison buzzed back and forth in front of my home office and argued in the bathroom as they got ready for school in the mornings. It has been so quiet here on the 2nd floor of Vander Well Manor for so long.

As I read Paul’s words (above) I thought of Taylor and Madison who are grown and have struck out on their own respective paths. I have such confidence in them, am so proud of them, and am so encouraged to see the amazing women they have become. I thought of our sister, Suzanna, and the glowing comments we heard from teachers last night at parent teacher conferences. I am blown away by her courage to take a step of faith, enter a new community, attend a new school, and stretch herself in almost every way. She is proving herself to be such a capable, intelligent, articulate young woman in so many ways. We are blessed to share this time of life with her.

I have always believed that job one for a parent, starting day one, is to work yourself out of a job by raising children who can capably and successfully strike out on their own faith journey, make their own way in this world, and have their own positive influence on the lives of others. To watch it actually happen is the source of tremendous encouragement, pride, and joy.