Tag Archives: Self Control

Best of ’24: #2 Responding and Reacting

February 13, 2025 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

For two weeks, while Wendy and I are away enjoying some warm weather, I’ll be counting down the top ten chapter-a-day posts of 2024 (based on total views and plays). It’ s always interesting which posts resonated with readers and listeners. The chapter for tomorrow’s post will be listed at the bottom.

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:19-21 (NIV)

This past weekend, the world was stunned when the opening ceremony of the Olympics featured what appeared to be a parody of Da Vinci’s The Last Supper using drag queens and a large lady with a plunging neckline in place of Jesus. There have been all sorts of reactions to the scene, but it came to mind this morning as I read today’s chapter.

I will admit that my initial reaction was one of shock then offended anger. I scrolled my feed on X to see how people were responding. I ran across one tweet from a young Muslim woman. “As a Muslim, even I am offended by this. Where are you Christians? Why are you so weak?”

As a disciple of Jesus, however, I don’t want to be a slave to my emotional reactions but rather respond in the Spirit. So rather than spew my rage to the masses, I took some time to ponder the French parody and how Jesus would respond. Here are the conclusions I came to.

Jesus would not be surprised at all by it. In fact, He told me that this is exactly the thing I should expect from the world. Here are a couple of key statements:

“Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.”
Matthew 24:9

“Everyone will hate you because of me.”
Luke 21:17

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”
John 15:18-19

…in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God.
John 16:2b

“But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’”
John 15:25

Jesus asks me to respond differently than the world reacts. Anger, rage, and retribution are the ways of the world. To me, this silly mockery is a metaphorical slap in the face, and a classic opportunity to respond in the very way Jesus taught me.

God does not need me to be His avenger. A few years ago, the offices of Charlie Hebdo in France were attacked and the workers were massacred by Muslim terrorists. They did this because the French satire magazine parodied Mohammed in a comic. I wondered, “Is this what the Muslim young lady thinks Christians should do so as not to be ‘weak?'” Jesus made it very clear that God can handle vengeance on His own without my help, and that my job is to love, bless, and pray for those who mock, hate, and persecute.

The very heart of Jesus’ example and teaching is that real spiritual strength is found in what the world perceives as weakness. Jesus willingly surrendered Himself to be crucified and said that I should take up my own cross and follow His example. Resurrection power does not come from marching in the streets, taking up arms, political leverage, or trending social media outrage. Resurrection power only comes through death. Sometimes that means I have to die to my desire or need for a sense of justice, or revenge, or self-righteous satisfaction.

In the quiet this morning, I’m thinking about an article I read yesterday in the Free Press in which the author commented that the people who should really be angry are not the Christians, but the citizens of France who had a chance to show the world the best they’ve got to offer with regards to art and culture and have to ask themselves “Is this is the best we could come up with?” In the meantime, I’m not too worked up about it. I have people to love, clients to serve, and a bunch of meetings today in which I hope to be an example of Jesus’ loving kindness and self-control.

Tomorrow’s Chapter: John 6

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

These chapter-a-day blog posts are also available via podcast on all major podcast platforms including Apple, Google, and Spotify! Simply go to your podcast platform and search for “Wayfarer Tom Vander Well.” If it’s not on your platform, please let me know!

Chapter-a-Day

Grace in the Journey: Given and Received

March 5, 2019 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.
Romans 15:1-2 (NIV)

Annoying to be around. That was the bottom line. Abrasive, abrupt, and usually off in left field in most matters. I can still remember the silly arguments and petty details that occupied this person’s thoughts and conversation at, seemingly, all times. It was hard not to roll my eyes and want to head for the nearest exit when the mouth opened and the judgmental, legalistic rhetoric began to flow. Nevertheless, this person was a sincere follower of Jesus. Truly, despite all the annoyance. And, this person was a part of my local community of Jesus’ followers.

Sometimes the Message is ill-served by the way early scholars divided it into chapters and verses. One of the best study tools I’ve experienced is to read the different books and letters without all the chapter breaks and verse references. It’s amazing what you see differently. When I’m reading a chapter-a-day, I can easily forget that today’s chapter is connected to yesterday’s chapter as well as being a lead-in to tomorrow’s chapter. When I read it in prescribed, daily chunks it’s easy to lose context.

Today’s chapter is like that. In yesterday’s chapter Paul addressed the conflicts that can arise because of differences in culture, background, heritage, and traditions. People from different tribes have all sorts of differing, non-essential rules about food, clothing, special days, rituals, and the like. These aren’t necessarily bad things, but they’re by no means essential to being a follower of Jesus.

The first two verses of today’s chapter are really a summation of yesterday’s chapter. Paul ends this conversation by saying that those believers who have the grace and maturity to see that all of these rules, customs and traditions don’t matter to God, should bear with those who do. We could argue about it, get self-righteous about it, and then watch the emotions escalate as the conversation sinks into anger, name calling, discord, division, and even to hatred. Paul urges the mature believer to graciously channel the fruit of Holy Spirit towards those who are stuck in their traditions and rituals: love, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.

In my memory banks this morning are a number of fellow believers, like the one I described at the top of this post, who I’ve shared part of my journey with in this or that community. I’m seeing their faces and laughing to myself at some of the memories.

In the quiet I am also reminded of my own immaturity, particularly in the early years of my spiritual journey. I confess that I have my own annoying quirks and have, through the years, embraced my own share of non-essential, petty thoughts as well as silly moral or religious causes. I have very specific memories of me being the source of rolling eyes and bit tongues. Now, in hindsight, I can appreciate the forbearance my elders and peers showed me in loving, kind, patient, and gentle fashion. Thank you for that, if you’re reading this.

I’m on this journey with every other person who is on their own respective journey. Each of us are having our own conversation with Life. Grace (undeserved and unearned favor) is required. Sometimes it’s required that we receive it. Sometimes it’s required that we give it. It’s the only way we’ll successfully reach our destination together and progress to that which is beyond.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day 1 Peter 1

October 1, 2012 Tom Vander Well 3 Comments

So think clearly and exercise self-control. 1 Peter 1:13a (NLT)

As I read through these words from this morning’s chapter, I was reminded of the British war time posters that have become all the rage in recent years. Millions of the posters, which simply state “Keep Calm and Carry On” were made by the British Ministry of Information in 1939 to boost morale during World War II, but for an unknown reason the posters were only distributed in limited numbers and were little known. In 2000, the posters were rediscovered and have become a popular theme on all sorts of products and parodies.

Perhaps it’s the coupling of two simple commands that made my brain make the connection. “Think clearly and practice self-control” is just as relevant an admonishment in times of war or peace. It’s worthy of daily reminder.

We are bombarded with so much information and misinformation on a daily basis from an increasing number of media outlets and apps. Clear thinking is not always an easy task in the midst of it. Our chapter-a-day journey is one way that I try to feed my thinking with eternal, spiritual truths rather than momentary sound bytes. The daily perspective from God’s Message helps my mind and soul cut through the glut of useless and temporal noise.

Exercising self-control is an equally important command worthy of daily reminder. Wendy and I have been doing a lot of thinking about and discussion around the idea of appetites recently. A few weeks ago we spent a drive to Des Moines talking about the traditional “seven deadly sins” (lust, gluttony, wrath, sloth, pride, greed, envy) and made the observation that each of the “sins” are natural human appetites out of control. Likewise, the result of each is destructive to both self, intimacy with God and intimacy with others. Our journey towards maturity, wisdom and spiritual wholeness requires an ever and increasing measure of self-control over our human appetites and inclinations.

Today, I’m reminding myself to “think clearly and exercise self-control.”