Tag Archives: Romans 14

Honoring Our Differences

August 1, 2024 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.
Romans 14:1 (NIV)

For three years I served as pastor in a Quaker (a.k.a. The Society of Friends) congregation. It was a unique situation in that the small, rural congregation itself was comprised of members from all sorts of diverse denominational backgrounds from Pentecostal and Roman Catholic to Reformed. Those who actually were raised as Quakers were a minority, but that was the heritage of the church and everyone respected it. The church was looking for a pastor who would respect the Quaker traditions but would also embrace and speak to members from all denominational backgrounds. I was happy to do so.

It was a fascinating three years in which I learned a tremendous amount from my “Friends.” They taught me the power of silence and spending time in quiet. My denominational background didn’t teach me about getting spiritually centered as preparation and part of worship. I also know no other Christian denomination that wholeheartedly believes and practices the reality that God can work through and speak through anyone regardless of gender, age, or education.

That doesn’t mean I agreed with everything in Quaker doctrine. The Friends don’t practice either of the traditional sacraments of Baptism or Communion. The original Quakers rebelled against the notion that a baby was “saved” simply by being baptized by his or her parents. Likewise, they rejected the idea that taking a weekly Eucharist somehow made you right with God. So, they did away with the sacraments and found different ways to define them. While I respected the ideas, I never fully bought into them. I think my Friends threw the baby out with the bathwater in this regard. Nevertheless, I respected their ideas and simply agreed to disagree. My guiding principle for those three years was from St. Augustine: “In the essentials unity. In the non-essentials liberty. In all things charity.”

In today’s chapter, Paul addresses the fact that believers have diverse beliefs about many “non-essentials.” He mentions beliefs around dietary restrictions and holding certain days as more sacred than others as examples. Paul urges the believers in Rome to be respectful and honor those who have strong beliefs that we don’t particularly share. It would be like me ending my sermon in the Quaker church by inviting anyone who wanted to be baptized to follow me down to the river after the service. That would be dishonoring and inappropriate. “If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you [are doing],” Paul writes, “you are no longer acting in love.”

In the quiet this morning, I find myself grateful for the experiences I’ve had with many different flavors of Christian traditions and belief systems. I have discovered that there is a lot for me to discover and learn from other traditions that make my own faith journey deeper and richer. I may disagree at certain points. In fact, I almost always do. The Law of Love, however, calls me to be respectful, not hostile. It demands that I honor, not insult.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Keeping it to Myself; Holding it Together

March 4, 2019 Tom Vander Well 1 Comment

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Romans 14:17 (NIV)

Yesterday Wendy and I were with our local gathering of Jesus’ followers and I met young ladies who were from Honduras, Nigeria, and Afghanistan. I was told that the first time my young sister from Afghanistan joined us I happened to give the message that day, and she was relatively new to living here in the States. At some point during the message I began to cry (that happens quite frequently, I’m afraid). She, however, was taken aback. Culturally, men in Afghanistan do not cry, especially in public. She laughed about it now, and the moment became an opportunity for her to learn and grow on a number of different levels. Very cool.

Along my journey I have encountered people from all manner of cultural, religious, and denominational backgrounds. People have all sorts of things that are important to them religiously, spiritually, or culturally from things you eat (or don’t), things you wear (or don’t), and certain days that are special (or not). We’re not talking here about matters of civil law or basic morality. This conversation is about preferences, practices, customs and traditions that are not the command of Christ, though they may hold some special spiritual significance to a particular individual or a particular group of individuals.

As Paul is writing to the followers of Jesus in Rome, he is aware that among all the fledgling local gatherings of believers there are very diverse cross-sections of humanity. Not just Jews and Gentiles, but people from different nations, tribes, cultural backgrounds, and socio-economic positions. This would especially have been true in Rome which was the cosmopolitan epicenter of the western world at the time. The Jesus Movement was breaking down barriers between people for the first time history and for the first time people were interacting with one another, eating together, worshipping together, and speaking to one another as equals on a regular basis. Of course this is going to create all sorts of minor clashes between people from diverse cultural, religious, social and economic backgrounds.

In today’s chapter Paul gives some very clear teaching on these various and sundry differences.

First, he points out that what a person eats and drinks (or doesn’t) and what days are of special spiritual significance (or not) are really of no concern to God but are merely concerns of personal, individual conscience. This, in and of itself, might be a huge eye-opener if my ego has convinced me that I am the universal spiritual template and standard by which all other followers of Jesus should abide by and be judged. Each individual, Paul instructs, should worry only about herself/himself and her/his own behavior in accordance with her/his own conscience before God.

Second, Paul explains that because many different believers have very different matters of conscience on these matters there is no binary “right” and “wrong” in these matters except within my own heart and mind. These things are a private matter between me and God.

That being said and established, Paul urges me to take off my Junior Holy Spirit badge and stop playing spiritual judge, jury, and executioner applying my personal conscience before God onto others who have very different consciences before the same God. “Worry about yourself,” Paul is saying, “and let God worry about others.”

Finally, Paul exhorts me to follow the example of Christ and put others and their personal consciences above my own right to exercise my very different conscience. If I know that a person holds that Sabbath is sacred, I’m not going to ask her/him to come over and help me move my couch that day. If I know that another person finds alcohol to be evil and prohibitive, I’m not going to make an appointment to meet that person at the local pub and I’m going to abstain from drinking in her/his presence.

And, if a sister finds that a man crying in public is wrong, well…I’ll try to hold it together!

Have a great week, my friend!

Chapter-a-Day

“‘Tis a Silly Place”

January 26, 2016 Tom Vander Well Leave a comment

One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.
Romans 14:2-3 (NIV)

There’s a great moment in the classic film comedy Monty Python and the Holy Grail. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table look at Camelot from a distance and utter the name in reverential tones. The scene cuts to a farcical musical number with knights singing lines like:

“We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.”

When the song is over, King Arthur changes his mind. “Let’s not go there,” he says to his knights, “‘Tis a silly place.”

After 40 some years attending, working, and volunteering in various local churches of diverse denominational bents, I have to admit that I often feel King Arthur’s sentiments whenever I look at a church from the outside.

Along my life journey I have experienced a number of divisive conflicts inside the walls of the church:

Clappers vs. Non-Clappers
Liturgy vs. Free Worship
Hand raisers vs. Stoics
Pre-Trib Rapturists vs. Amillenialists
Predestination vs. Free Will
Sprinklers vs. Dunkers
Wine vs. Juice
Wafer vs. Bread
Sunday Sabbath vs. Saturday Sabbath
Hymns vs. Modern worship
Social drinkers vs. teetotalers

Like I said, “‘Tis a silly place.”

In today’s chapter, Paul addresses some of the silly arguments that, even in the earliest days of the Christianity, were dividing the followers of Jesus. Can you eat meat that was sacrificed to an idol before it went to market? Is it more virtuous to be a vegetarian? Should we worship on Saturday like the Ten Commandments tell us or on Sunday because Jesus rose from the dead on that day? These types of arguments were as prevalent in the year 57 A.D. as they are in 2016. People are people.

Paul’s message to all who follow Jesus was very simple: Love your fellow follower of Jesus enough to respect his or her feelings and beliefs. Don’t major on the minors. Don’t lord your own opinions over them and dishonor a fellow believer’s heart-felt, personal stand on things that are non-essential to our faith. Love, respect, grace and honor should always trump our desire to be proved right. Take off the Jr. Holy Spirit badge. Let God handle it.

This morning I am reminded to be gracious. To me, the institutional church “‘tis a silly place” most of the time. For other followers of Jesus I know, the local denominational church is deadly serious stuff. Even in this discrepancy, my role is to be respectful, honoring and loving with those whose thoughts and feelings differ from my own.

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Romans 14

October 27, 2010 Tom Vander Well 2 Comments

: Image by dpstyles™ via Flickr

If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help. Romans 14:4b (MSG)

As I’ve walked the journey with many fellow believers of a wide range of theological persuasions, I’ve noticed a common issue in our interpersonal relationships. I now see the problem, though at one time I didn’t regard it as such. At one time I considered this nagging characteristic a badge of honor, and I see that many of my brothers and sisters continue to do so. I call it the “Junior Holy Spirit Badge.”

The Junior Holy Spirit badge is worn by those of us who believe it is our sworn duty to personally convict others of their wrong doing. Eyes like a hawk, we hold our favorite version of life’s rule book in one hand and our personal tally sheet in the other. Constantly aware of what others are doing around us, it is our sworn duty to get in their face, point out what they’re doing wrong, point to our dog-eared copy of the rule book and call them to step in line behind us. Where would God be if he didn’t have me, Junior Holy Spirit Badge emblazoned upon my chest, helping Him to daily separate the sheep from the goats? After all, how are people going to be convicted of their sin, if I don’t personally tell them they’re sinning?

I have a confession to make. Somewhere along journey I took off my Junior Holy Spirit Badge and threw it in the ditch along the road along with my tally sheet and personal rule book. I realized that God’s message never asked me to convict people of their sin, but over and over again commanded me to forgive them. I also realized as I read His Message that I’m supposed to share God’s good news, which is love, grace, forgiveness, restoration, redemption and life. I didn’t have time to share the good news when I was busy sharing with people the bad news about what awful, terrible, sinful things they were doing and how it was going to land them in a world of spiritual hurt if they didn’t follow my prescribed version of personal obedience to God. I got tired of convicting people. It left me with no energy to love them.

And, I don’t want a merit badge for convicting people, I want a merit badge for loving them.