Roles | Wayfarer

Cover of "The Crucible (Penguin Plays)" — Cover of The Crucible (Penguin Plays)

I have a love/hate relationship with The Crucible. Along with Death of a Salesman, it seems that this play was required reading in every high school and college English, Literature, or theatre class. When I was in high school and college during the 1980s (yes, I had a mullet), it seems that Arthur Miller was the only American playwright the textbook companies knew. I got to know the play really well. I love the way Miller explores the themes of humanity and legalistic religion out of control, but the play is so long, so heavy, and has so many characters. It’s a tough one to stage, and it’s tough on audiences..

Nevertheless, because The Crucible seemed to be required in so many classes, I got to do multiple character studies of John Proctor, and played the character in a lot of scene work for class. I came to love his humanity, his honesty and his willingness to stand up to the falsehood around him even at the cost of his life. The further I get in life’s journey, the more I identify with his failings and his courage.

It’s somehow tragic to put so much work into a character, fall in love with portraying him, and then never have the opportunity to play out the entirety of the script. It’s like that long, lost love you almost had, but life never allowed the two of you to get together. You always look back with longing and wonder “What if?”

While I would love to play the role, I know that my age is now against me. Like a number of great roles, that window of opportunity has likely passed. John Proctor will always be one of my “what ifs?”

1st edition cover (Viking Press) — Image via Wikipedia

The other day Wendy and I were talking in the car on our way back from Des Moines. I don’t even remember the context of our conversation. Our conversations tend to ebb and flow all over the map. Somewhere in the midst of our conversation I mentioned that I would love the challenge someday of playing Willy Loman, the iconic, tragic centerpiece of Arthur Miller‘s Death of a Salesman.

“That would make a great blogging challenge,” Wendy said all of a sudden. “Do a series of blog posts on roles you’d love to play.”

She’s so smart (and sexy).

The truth is that I’m not that fond of Miller’s play itself. I got sick of reading it, and re-reading it in every English and Lit class only to have to read it again in theatre classes. It is depressing, and I can understand the legends of how it drove Lee J. Cobb (the great actor who famously made the role his own) crazy with despair.

Still, I’ve reached the age when you start to look back, think about where you envisioned your life going, and compare it to where you stand. I’ve travelled hundreds of thousands of air miles with salesmen slogging through life shuttling their wares from customer to potential customer. I’ve seen, and shared, the vacant look in their eyes. I’ve eaten alone with them together at another restaurant that’s the same as the one before. I’ve slept alone with them in the adjacent hotel room just like the one we were both in the night before. I get it now.

And so, I think it would be a challenge to play the iconic role, slip into Loman’s scuffed up wing-tips, and hoist his valises onto the stage. It would be fascinating and I think it would stretch me in interesting ways.