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Chapter-a-Day

Santa God

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Santa God (CaD Gen 15) – Wayfarer

Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.
Genesis 15:6 (NIV)

This is the problem: It’s too easy to mix-up God and Santa Claus.

Life is a meritocracy from a young age. In my earliest cognitive memory around ages 3 to 4, I find myself under the authority of parents who make it quite clear that if I’m obedient and do what they say, then I’m golden, but if I’m disobedient, then I’m going to be punished.

By the time I’m five, the biggest gift giving holiday of the year solidifies this meritocracy in my brain with Santa Claus as the omniscient authority figure determining if the annual balance of my goodness and badness warrants me receiving a stocking full of candy and socks and a bunch of presents under the tree. If the scale tips to the badness spectrum, it’s coal for me.

Within just two years, I become involved in scouting program which rewards my good deeds and behavior with awards, badges, and medals. I continue to develop an understanding of meritocracy. There is a reward for ambition and good behavior, those who excel are on display for the whole world to see with their medals, badges, and awards. If I have less, shame enters the equation. I’m not as good. I don’t have as many badges. I am less than.

And, each year Santa drives home the “naughty or nice” lesson.

At the same time, my earliest experiences in organized sports adds yet another object lesson in meritocracy. The kids who are naturally coordinated, developed, and have knowledge of the game are successful. Meanwhile, I increasingly ride the bench and watch the coach’s wife score the game. (For the record, my little league baseball career lasted two years, but to this day I like scoring games.)

And, Santa, my stocking, and gift haul remind me annually that gifts are a reward for good behavior.

I’m twelve by the time I have my first serious discussions about God. Yes, I grew up attending Sunday School most Sundays and Vacation Bible School each summer, but it wasn’t very exciting and seemed to be a lot about stories that support the good behavior business. In my journey, it was confirmation class in 7th grade that was a year-long primer on the Bible and God.

In retrospect, I had already a well-developed sense of how God worked based on my life experiences. And, it looked a lot like the Santa. If I’m good, then God will answer my prayers, my life will go well, and I’ll end up in heaven. If I’m bad or fall short then my prayers will not be answered, bad things will happen, and I’ll end up in the fires of hell (burning with Santa’s coal, no doubt). As a child, I was pretty darn sure that all four of the Minnesota Vikings Super Bowl losses were my fault, God’s punishment for something I’d done.

I’m sure that Mrs. Washington’s confirmation class attempted to teach me about God’s grace and love, but my brain and soul were already branded by the Santa principle.

In today’s chapter lies a simple verse that is almost never talked about among Jesus’ followers even though it is foundational to understanding Jesus’ core message. Paul uses it to argue that Jesus’ message was God’s message from the beginning. The author of Hebrews does so, as well. For followers of Jesus, this verse is crucial to know, digest, and cling to:

Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

No meritocracy.

No addendum talking about being good, pure, and holy.

No mention of achieving, doing unto others, going to church, or giving money.

Just believe. That’s what faith is. To believe.

“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” John 1:12

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” Act 16:31

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 8:9-10

Along my spiritual journey, I’ve observed that it is so hard to get out of the God as Santa mindset. God says “My ways are not your ways” and this applies to perhaps the most important question of all: How can I be saved?

Humanity’s way:

“Be good, work hard at it, keep all the rules, and maybe you’ll earn salvation like a present under the tree.”

God’s way:

“Just believe. Ask me to come in. Receive my love and forgiveness. That’s it. You see, once you’ve truly experienced My unmerited love, grace, forgiveness, and mercy, I trust you’ll be inspired and motivated to choose and practice obedience out of your own freedom and gratitude. That’s how I roll. That’s how I’ve always rolled, like I did with Abram.”

In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking about all the ways I still wrestle with “Santa God” after 40 years. It still creeps in to haunt me. Meritocracy is a hard habit to break, both in the way I see God and myself, but also in the way I see, approach, and treat others.

I’m also reminded that I can’t do anything about previous days. I’ve only got this day that lies before me. I’ve got this day to just believe Jesus, to receive His love and grace, and then to let that love and my gratitude flow in goodness.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

The “Bitter Defeat Blues”

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The "Bitter Defeat Blues" (CaD Ps 60) – Wayfarer

Give us aid against the enemy,
    for human help is worthless.
Psalm 60:11 (NIV)

Anyone who knows me and Wendy or who has followed this blog for any length of time knows that we love baseball. In particular, we’re Cubs fans, but the truth is that we really enjoy the game. In fact, when we’re at the lake during the summer I love going out on the deck, turning on the audio of the game, and then filling out my scorecard while I have a pint and a stogie. I’m such a geek.

What is ironic is that I was terrible at baseball as a kid. I was always relegated to the outfield, which we all know is purgatory in pee-wee little league, or else I was on the bench. I once considered writing a Cubs blog entitled Sliver Butt with the tag line “from benchwarmer to bleacher bum.” Another irony is that it was while I rode the bench while I played for the Pirates in Beaverdale Little League that I sat next to one of the coach’s wives who had the scorebook and she was keeping score. I was mesmerized by all the marks, symbols, and secret code she used to keep track of the game. I only got one hit that I can remember in two years of little league, but hey, I learned how to keep score!

The other major memory I have from my two-year career in Little League was the devastating loss my pee-wee team suffered. I played for the pee-wee Cardinals, which was a bad omen in and of itself, but we were terrible. There was this one game when we were playing one of the best teams and we were ahead by a ton of runs going into the final inning. I remember being so excited that we were finally going to win a game against a really good team, and then they rallied in the bottom of the final inning and beat us. I remember breaking down in tears in the backseat of our Volkswagen on the way home. I was convinced God hated me.

You’re probably wondering where on earth I’m going with this.

Today’s chapter, Psalm 60, is a song of lament that David wrote after suffering a bitter defeat. The song was intended for the entire nation to sing the blues.

If you listen to my podcast Time (Part 1) I made the case that I think the entire Great Story, the whole of human history, is like one giant, spiritual life-cycle. On this macro-spiritual level, humanity went through its own version of infancy, terrible twos, childhood, pre-adolescence, and etc. As I read David’s “Bitter Defeat Blues” this morning it read a bit like a kid in pee-wees crying in the back of mom’s Volkswagen, convinced that losing was a sign that God hates me, God has abandoned me, and God is punishing me. In retrospect, I know that’s not true, but I had to work through that. I had to grow. I had to mature in my understanding.

One of the other things David’s “Bitter Defeat Blues” had me thinking about this morning is Wendy and our daughters. Being the only male in the household for many years, I have come to appreciate that there are certain sections of the Great Story that just don’t resonate with women. While most guys can easily read passages about battles, banners, and the blood of enemies and it resonates in our wild-at-heart spirits, I’ve learned that most women simply go, “ew” and then skip over to be captivated by the story of Ruth or Esther. I get it.

Nevertheless, from this waypoint on Life’s journey, I find David’s song today is less about an actual battle than it is about feelings of loss, defeat, and despair. Those can be found in infertility, the disintegration of a relationship, a divorce, the death of a loved one, being unemployed, an appliance breaking down, or the cheesecake you made for a special guest falling. Everyone has “Why me God?” moments and they come in sizes from individual travel pack small to mongo Costco-sized huge.

At the end of David’s song today, even in the midst of defeat, he is already beginning the process of moving on. He is moving past the loss. He’s already proclaiming confidence that this defeat is not the end and God will help him and nation process the pain, press on, fight another day, and put this one in the review mirror.

That’s a lesson for me crying in my pee-wee little league uniform, but it’s still a lesson for me today in my company’s logo-wear. As I journey through life the defeats grow in proportion with me. I still have to process the pain. I still have to find the faith to press on to the higher, deeper, and more mature things God is calling me to seek and to find.

“Buck up, Tommy. Mom’s got lemon cake waiting for you at home.”

Have a great weekend, my friend.

Sunday Summary, Tom's Photos

The Latest 06-05-2016

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Talk about celebration! This week began with a holiday and ended with a family wedding. Here’s the latest.

It’s more fun when you keep score.
Front lawn, flag flying, food off the grill, cold bevies, and good friends.
Lot’s of laughter when this crew is together!
Front lawn, flag flying, food off the grill, cold bevies, and good friends.
Tom and Wendy at Principal Park.
Contreras hits a grand slam and gives young fans a high-five.
Iowa Cubs beat the Albuquerque Isotopes!

On Memorial Day Wendy and I headed to Des Moines for our second Iowa Cubs game of the season. Some friends gifted us their tickets which were in the fourth row right behind the I-Cubs’ dugout. It was a hot, sunny day and we both became crispy critters as the afternoon wore on. Our boys of summer sent 14 batters to the plate in the 6th inning and scored 10 runs including a grand slam by top Cubs’ prospect, Wilson Contreras. It was a ball!

Upon our arrival back in Pella, we walked across the street to Kevin and Linda’s. They were having a Memorial Day cookout with friends from Central’s theatre department. We enjoyed a little food off the grill and a cold bevy or two. It was great to see Rob Kahn, who had returned to Iowa after his professional turn in two Shakespearean productions in Philadelphia this past spring. I ended the holiday by moving the lawn.

With the end of May and the  beginning of June, there was plenty of work on the plate in the shortened work week. Month end deadlines combined with beginning of the month tasks. The weather has been making the turn toward summer with warmer temperatures and occasional strong storms.

Huddle up!

It was a lovely evening on Wednesday when we went to see our friend, Nathan VL, play baseball at Pella’s new sports park. The young boys of summer played a great game and it was fun to cheer them on.

I’m not sure what to make of the fact that one year after we moved in, both of our neighbors have sold their houses. Hopefully that’s just a coincidence! Just yesterday we met our new neighbors to the north, Greg and Chanelle, who moved in from Grimes. The gaggle of teenagers next door has given way to a flock of 3 (and one on the way) wee ones. No word yet on our new neighbors to the south. More to come.

On Friday we headed to Boone in the afternoon. Wendy’s brother, Lucas, got married to Brooke on Saturday. The Hall clan gathered for the festivities. The only members missing were brother Josh, who continues to serve as an Army dentist in Korea, and his fiance, Ellie. Friday evening was spent finishing up decorations at Seven Oaks Lodge, rehearsal, and a pizza dinner. It was great to see family, especially Wendy’s brother Jesse and his daughter, Sophia, whom we had not seen in a long time. We also loved meeting Abby, Jesse’s girlfriend, who hails from Camdenton – just down the road from our Playhouse in the Ozarks.

We drove back to Pella on Friday night and I spent Saturday morning on the lawn. Then it was time to clean up, pick up Grandma VH, and head back to Boone for the big wedding. We arrived about 2:30 and busied ourselves helping out. I got to chauffeur Brooke, and personal attendant Suzanna, up to a private spot where Lucas was to see his bride in her dress for the first time. I also helped out as usher for the ceremony.

Suzanna Mom Hall Dancing

It was a bright, sunny and windy day. It has been a long time since this many of the Hall clan were together. I enjoyed taking photos and watching Wendy’s joy as she got to hang with her siblings. The wedding was simple and beautiful. You gotta love a wedding reception catered by Hickory Park in Ames. It was after 10 p.m. before we left Boone. Grandma VH was a trooper. She slept a good part of the drive home.

Looking forward to heading back to the lake this week and working remotely from the deck. Hot, sunny weather in the forecast. Love it. Next weekend is our annual summer kick-off weekend with Kev and Beck.

Chapter-a-Day

We All Need to Be Strengthened

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Giorgio Vasari: An angel strengthens Jesus pra...
Giorgio Vasari: An angel strengthens Jesus praying in agony in Gethsemane. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Strengthen the man you love,
the son of your choice.
Psalm 80:17 (NLT)

As I sat down to my quiet time this morning, my computer still had up on the screen the post I wrote last night about attending our friend’s Little League game. As a result, while I read the chapter this morning my brain was still thinking about it. Forgive me if I add one more word picture from the experience.

While we watched the game, one young man just wasn’t sure if he really wanted to step up to bat and have that ball flying straight at him. His parents each had to get down to his level and give him a good talking to. The boy finally got up there and gave it a try Parents encouraging their kid to get in there and do his best.

Everyone needs to be strengthened from time to time. Even Jesus, the night before He would be nailed to a cross, found Himself discouraged and despairing to the point of sweating blood. According to Luke’s account, angels were dispatched to strengthen Jesus as He prayed to His heavenly father in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Everyone needs to be strengthened from time to time. We need to be strengthened as a child to step out of our comfort zone and doing things that will be good for us. We need to be strengthened by teachers and coaches in school. I need to be strengthened by my buddies who have the common experiences of being a man and can identify with the struggle. I need to be strengthened by my wife who knows my most intimate insecurities and will speak into my heart like only a woman and soulmate can.

Wise King Solomon said, “woe to him who falls down and has no one to help him up.” Today, I’m thankful for all of those who along the journey have strengthened me when I needed it.

Random Thoughts, Tom's Photos, Wayfarer's Journal

Three Indelible Life Lessons from the Game of Baseball

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Last Saturday morning, Wendy and I went out to the local ball diamond to watch my good friend Nathan playing Little League baseball. I grabbed my camera to capture my buddy in action. Anyone who follows my blog knows that Wendy and I love the game of baseball (and our hapless Chicago Cubs). In fact, as time goes by our love and appreciation of the game only seems to grow deeper. We thoroughly enjoyed the gorgeous, early summer morning watching Nathan play. It reminded me of all that is great about the game of baseball, and in particular I was reminded of three important life lessons that the game teaches me over and over again.

2013 06 08 Nathan VL Baseball 02

1. “Everyone strikes out. How you handle it is what makes you a man.”

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Casey has struck out.
-from “Casey at the Bat” by Ernest Thayer

When my young friend Nathan was just a few years old, Wendy and I gave him a copy of “Casey at the Bat” for his birthday and this was the inscription I penned on the inside cover of Ernest Thayer’s timeless classic. What an amazing word picture of life. The very BEST hitters in the big leagues will fail to get a hit 7 of every 10 attempts. Time and time and time again we will try and fail in life. Those who learn from failure, who dare to walk back up to the plate, who keep swinging despite overwhelming failure will eventually knock one out of the park. You’ll never know the thrill of driving in the winning run if you let failure discourage you from ever trying again.

2013 06 08 Nathan VL Baseball 012. It’s Not About Winning or Losing, but the Joy of Playing the Game.

Wendy and I watched and laughed ourselves silly on Saturday as we watched the young boys of summer doing their best to play and learn the Great American Pastime. I can guarantee you that at the end of the game not one of the li’l sluggers knew the final score of the game. But, as the team ran the bases together at the end of the game the look of joy on their faces was priceless.

I have known many a man who has wasted time, energy and resources in a manic drive to prove to who knows who that he is a “success” through winning every game, closing every deal, burying every enemy, and acquiring every needless possession. Never have I met such a man who experiences a deep, abiding sense of peace, joy, and love. The further I get in this life journey, the more I’m convinced that what is important is not winning every game, but loving every moment.

In similar fashion, those who love the game of baseball understand realize that the game itself transcends wins and losses. Win or lose, an afternoon or evening at the ballpark is time well-spent. As Chicago Cub great Ernie Banks is famed for saying, “It’s a beautiful day for a ballgame….let’s play TWO!”

2013 06 08 Nathan VL Baseball 03

3. The Point is to Make it Safely Home.

As we play the game of life, we will all make our share of errors. We all hit our share of foul balls. We all strike out. But as Yogi Berra said, “the game ain’t over ’til it’s over.” Every baseball fan can share stories of dramatic come from behind wins and walk-off “home runs” in the bottom of the ninth inning. In the end, the goal of the game is to arrive safe at home. Even the Prodigal Son eventually found his way home. Every funeral I’ve ever attended has included a recitation of the 23rd psalm (i.e. “The Lord is my Shepherd….”). The psalm ends with the words “I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” In other words, in the end the psalmist finds himself safely home. Baseball not only provides us a word picture for constant reminder, but even shapes home plate like a little house for added effect.

Our friend Nathan may, or may not, play baseball for long. Like millions of American kids (myself included) he may play a year or two of Little League only to hang up his bat and glove until his own children choose to run the bases. The love of baseball, however, lasts a lifetime, as does the life lessons baseball teaches each of us.