Tag Archives: Haman

Victim of My Own Poison

So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai.
Esther 7:10 (NIV)

I once had a person who told me they were angry with me. I had done something to offend, and the person confessed that they knew I had no idea what I had done to hurt them so deeply. I asked what I had done and sought to reconcile, but they chose to not to tell me. Sometime later, I made another appeal and asked the person to share with me what I had done. Again, they chose not to do so.

Two cannot be reconciled if one is unwilling to do so.

Along my life journey, I have encountered many individuals who hold on to their anger, their grudges, their hatred, and their judgments of others. Typically, I find that underneath it all lies a spiritual, relational, and/or emotional wound. The wound often remains carefully hidden beneath all the bitterness and rage. If the wound is not addressed the destructive emotions remain.

I have observed that anger, hatred, grudges, and vengeance are spiritually dangerous things. It has been said that harboring them is like drinking a cup of poison yourself and expecting that it will somehow kill your enemy.

In today’s chapter, the plot twist is downright Shakespearean. Haman’s plot to kill Mordecai and all of the Hebrews is uncovered. Ironically, Haman is impaled on the very pike he had erected for the impaling of his enemy, Mordecai. He allowed himself to drink from the poisonous cup of anger, resentment, bitterness, and rage for so long that he became its victim.

This morning I find myself praying for the person I mentioned at the beginning of this post, as I do whenever that person comes to mind. Perhaps someday the time will be right and they will be ready to talk things out. I hope so. I also find myself taking an internal inventory of my own wounds and examining my own levels of anger, resentment, bitterness and the like. I don’t want to harbor such things lest I find myself the victim of my own internal poison.

Chapter-a-Day Esther 9

dice
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Haman son of Hammedatha the Agagite, the enemy of the Jews, had plotted to crush and destroy them on the date determined by casting lots (the lots were called purim). Esther 9:24 (NLT)

The casting of lots was a common practice in ancient times. It was a form of what we would call today “rolling the dice” and letting the future be determined by fate. It’s a practice from which our modern lottery is based. When Jonah was running from God and his ship was being threatened by the storm, the crew cast lots to determine who was to blame for God being so angry. When Jesus’ disciples needed to pick a replacement for Judas Iscariot, they cast lots to decide between the candidates.

While we still have lotteries as a form of gambling and money-making, our culture long ago moved away from trusting in the practice as way of divining God’s will. Today we put our trust more in reason and discernment than to chance.

Nevertheless, I find in the story of Esther and the festival of Purim a reminder that God is not confined to using only the means of our human design and prescription to work His will. I hear in my head some of my stuffy college professors eschewing the idea that God would use anything other than human reason to divine a proper choice. You can’t deny, however, that God worked through both Haman and Esther’s gambles. God used the casting of Haman’s lot to turn the tables on his heinous motives. Esther rolled the dice when she presented herself to the king without being summoned and God used her bet to work His good and perfect will.

Despite our reliance upon knowledge, intellect, and reason, I find that we all face distinct crossroads at different waypoints of our life’s journey. Two paths diverge from our single one and we must make a choice. Sometimes we make reasoned decisions. Sometimes, we roll the dice.  In either case, I believe there is a divine orchestration at work. As it says in Proverbs: “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps” (16:9) and “We may throw the dice, but the LORD determines how they fall” (16:33). Like me, you may have a hard time wrapping your head completely around how that works exactly. There is a divine mystery to it. Proverbs addresses that too: “The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?” (20:24).

 

Chapter-a-Day Esther 7

Poison
(Photo credit: Thorius)

So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai, and the king’s anger subsided. Esther 7:10 (NLT)

I have heard it said that hatred is like drinking a cup of poison with the expectation that your enemy will die. Based on the experiences and observations of my own personal journey, I would expand that definition of that cup’s contents to include anger, bitterness, and prejudice.

Today’s story of Haman is a great example of this principle. Haman’s uncontrollable hatred toward Mordecai leads him to scheme, not only against Mordecai, but also against all of Mordecai’s people. The result is  that Haman himself is impaled on the pike he’d set up for his enemy.

Over time I’ve come to realize just how unproductive and personally destructive negative emotions are both relationally and spiritually. Wander through Jesus’ teachings and you find that the theme is always in choosing the things of God over the things of this world: love over hatred, trust over anxiety, faith over fear, kindness over anger, life over death.

Today, I’m asking God to reveal the pikes I have set up in my own heart:

  • Prejudice against entire groups people whom I don’t know or understand
  • Anger towards those who’ve crossed me
  • Bitterness towards those who long ago injured me
  • Frustrations, fears and anxieties over those whom I cannot control

God, help me take this cup of poison in my hand and pour it out harmlessly to the ground. Then fill it with your love, grace, kindness and mercy. Make me an instrument of your peace.

Chapter-a-Day Esther 6

60th Primetime Emmy Awards
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So Haman came in, and the king said, “What should I do to honor a man who truly pleases me?”

Haman thought to himself, “Whom would the king wish to honor more than me?”
Esther 6:6 (NLT)

Wendy and I watched the annual Emmy awards last night on television. I chuckled to myself as I watched. There is no industry like the entertainment industry for sheer self-indulgent self-promotion. Even the host last night made fun of the fact that the Emmy awards were named after who they are really all about: M – E.

The sight of the self-congratulatory television stars came to mind this morning when I read about Haman’s blunder. The contrast between Mordecai and Haman could not be more stark. Mordecai was motivated to do what was right without expecting any reward for it. Haman did what made him look good and expected to be exalted. Haman was blind to the notion that the king would want to honor anyone more than himself.

I learned a long time ago that if you desire recognition you will surely be disappointed. Hard work, doing the right thing and the satisfaction of a job well done produce their own reward. Jesus said:

“Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.”

Today, I find myself prompted to do a little heart check. Are my actions and deeds motivated by desire for Hollywood like or Haman like self-promotion and recognition? Or, am I willing to do the right thing without consideration of the earthly cost or human reward?