Tag Archives: Feud

Chapter-a-Day

Farms and Feuds

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Farms and Feuds (CaD Ezk 48) – Wayfarer

“This is the land you are to allot as an inheritance to the tribes of Israel, and these will be their portions,” declares the Sovereign Lord.
Ezekiel 48:29 (NIV)

In recent posts I’ve mentioned that throughout human history land has meant life. Owning land means you have a place to put up permanent shelter, grow crops, and raise livestock. Land has tangible value. Land meant prosperity.

Living my entire life in Iowa, I perhaps understand this better than some. Iowa farmland is among the richest, most productive in the entire world which means that it is of great financial worth. Because of this, living in Iowa gives you a front row seat to what land can do to the human heart.

Land becomes the golden calf for many individuals and families. Many years ago I pastored a small rural church. In the back pew in one corner sat one man every Sunday. Every Sunday, in the opposite corner as far away as possible, sat his neighbor. They had a boundary dispute between their land decades before and so they never spoke and avoided one another like the plague. I did funerals for patriarchs of family farms in which one child and their family refused to be in the same room with another child and their family all because of dispute over how the land was distributed. I have watched bitterness and resentment over the inheritance of land shrivel men’s souls. And yes, it’s even driven individuals to take out their anger the way Cain did with Abel.

The ancient nation of Israel knew this same paradigm. Remember that the nation was originally 12 tribes from the same family. Moses originally allotted the land among the tribes.

Some tribes had more land. Others had far less. As history wore on, disputes arose. Civil War broke out. The nation fractured in two.

As Ezekiel pens his final chapters, there is no longer a nation of Israel. It was conquered. Its capital city and temple were destroyed. Zeke’s vision is of a restored Israel and a new allotment of a restored nation. No more division between north and south. He envisions one united nation in which each tribe gets an allotment of land that looks like a twelve-layered cake from top to bottom, north to south. Each tribe gets it’s own layer that’s roughly the same size as every other tribe. It is a vision of twelve family tribes living in peace and harmony. No disputes of bigger or smaller, there is equal inheritance. There is shalom.

https://c2.staticflickr.com/2/1241/5117216094_cf9b4c7e22_b.jpg

And that brings me back to the fact that the entire Great Story from Genesis to Revelation is about God restoring shalom between Himself and humanity. It’s the way it was before a snake slithered into the Garden. It’s the way the Great Story ends with God and humanity living in perfect shalom in a new heaven, a new earth, and a new holy city. It is what God wants me to experience each day amidst the trials of living in a fallen world with other fallen individuals. It’s what God wants me to strive for and share with others.

In the quiet this morning, my spirit is reminding me of two men I know who grew up on family farms. Each of them got the shaft when it came time for the family farm to be passed to the next generation. Both men know the journey of grief, anger, and resentment that comes with that particular reality. Each of these men have shared with me their story, and they are both incredibly blessed, filled with joy in their lives and families. Both of them, disciples of Jesus, shared with me how they consciously and deliberately surrendered their will and desire to God. They let go of resentment, put their trust in God, and sought their inheritance from Him. Each of these men have ultimately prospered. Each has found and is experiencing shalom.

What Ezekiel is describing on a macro level as he finishes his prophetic book is what God wants me to experience on the micro level, right here, today.

Shalom, my friend. Have a good weekend.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

There’s No Plan B

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There's No Plan B (CaD Ezk 35) – Wayfarer

“‘Because you harbored an ancient hostility and delivered the Israelites over to the sword at the time of their calamity, the time their punishment reached its climax, therefore as surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I will give you over to bloodshed and it will pursue you.”
Ezekiel 35:5-6 (NIV)

I am often amazed at how relevant the ancient prophets can be, even today. For over a year now, since October 7, 2023, the world has witnessed an ancient conflict coming to violent escalation in Israel. This is an ancient conflict, and it didn’t begin with the Zionist movement of the late 19th century. It goes back thousands of years. The current iteration is simply the latest example of it rearing its ugly, ancient head.

The setting for today’s chapter is that Jerusalem has fallen. It has been destroyed just as Ezekiel and Jeremiah had both prophesied would happen. Those who could escape the bloody siege scattered. Many of them scattered directly to the east across the Jordan and entered the land of Edom. But rather than having compassion on the refugees, the Edomites reveled in Jerusalem’s destruction and slaughtered the refugees. Even though the Israelites were family.

The Edomites were descendants of Esau, Jacob’s (aka Israel’s) twin brother. Yes, Esau who surrendered his birthright in exchange for a cup of soup. Israel, the second-born who deceived his blind father into thinking he was Esau in order to receive his father’s blessing of the first-born.

Family feud. Bad blood. Bitterness. Resentment. Ancient wounds and deep scars so fraught with endless reciprocities that over a thousand years later, neither side could see past the history of mutual offenses.

That’s what bitterness does to the human soul. I have observed along my spiritual journey that the institutional church has historically focused on the sins of morality (sex, drugs, alcohol, rock-and-roll, etc.) while ignoring the sins of the spirit that Jesus talked about in His Sermon on the Mount: anger, resentment, lust, lies, violence, bitterness, lack of forgiveness, lack of generosity, pride, greed, judgement, and condemnation. Even as I write these words my mind has filled with the faces of people I’ve known along my own journey who have harbored bitterness for so long and fed angry grudges to the point that their faces and countenance begin to shrivel into a perpetual scowl long after their souls had done the same.

In today’s chapter, God tells Zeke to prophesy against the children of Esau, who refused to have compassion on the Israelite refugees and instead saw it as an opportunity to settle old scores with violent slaughter.

Violence begets violence. Bloodshed begets bloodshed. Or, as Jesus put it, “Those who live by the sword will die by the sword.”

In the quiet this morning, I find myself mulling over political and international relationships between nations and people groups. It’s hard to wrap my mind around conflicts that are thousands of years old. It feels futile to even do so.

I’m reminded this morning that Jesus did not come to save nations. He came to save individuals. When Jesus changes my heart of bitterness and resentment into a soul full of forgiveness and grace, that impacts people in my family, my network of friends, and my circles of influence. Other individuals are changed in the wake. Suddenly our circles are influencing our community, our community influences other communities, and eventually our communities influence nations and empires. That is what happened in the first century. But it begins with the individual.

Just as the conflict between Israel and Edom began with individuals, twin brothers, the answer begins with an individual: me. Just as the conflict between Jews and Muslims began with individuals, half-brothers named Isaac and Ishmael, the answer beings with an individual: me.

What grudges am I harboring?
What bitterness am I clinging to?
Who have I refused to forgive?
Who do I hate?
Where is anger ruling my heart?

Peace begins with Jesus in me, and His grace through me.

I’ve read the entire Great Story multiple times.

There’s no Plan B.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Bad Blood

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Bad Blood (CaD Jer 49) – Wayfarer

“But I will strip Esau bare;
    I will uncover his hiding places,
    so that he cannot conceal himself…”
Jeremiah 49:10a (NIV)

If you’ve followed my writing or my social media posts for any length of time, you’ll know that I’m my family’s resident historian. In fact, right next to my desk is a stack of letters, photographs, and ephemera that my dad gave me. They were keepsakes my mother had in her possession when she died a few months ago.

Family is an interesting thing, and what’s ironic in my self-appointed role of family historian is that neither my maternal nor paternal families are particularly close. I can at least say that my maternal family has had a number of reunions that I can remember over the years, though it’s been quite a while since the last one. My paternal family has never had a reunion. Were it not for Facebook, I’d probably not have any meaningful connection to them.

“Blood is thicker than water” is the idiom we use to express the importance of family over everything else in life. But I’ve equally observed that bad blood runs deep. Along my life journey, I have observed a number of families in which bad blood ran so deep that it divided siblings and cousins for generations until no one knew why their family was so distant and never spoke to one another.

Today’s chapter is the continuation of short, one-off prophetic messages that the prophet Jeremiah gave during his career. There are five short messages in today’s chapter aimed at small towns and people groups in the region. The one that resonated with me as I read it was God’s message to the Edomites, whom the prophet refers to as “Esau.”

The Edomites were descendants of Isaac’s son, Esau, who was also known as Edom.

The Israelites were descendants of Isaac’s son, Jacob, who became known as Israel.

Jacob and Esau were brothers. They were twin brothers. Their story is told all the way back in Genesis. Esau foolishly sold his birthright as the eldest male child to his younger twin brother for some soup. Jacob then deceived his own dying father to give him the blessing of the eldest child. Esau fled to the east of the Dead Sea and took up residence in a mountainous region known for it’s cliffs and caves.

Today’s chapter and Jeremiah’s message takes place about a thousand years later. The descendants of Esau and the descendants of Jacob have been feuding for a millenium.

Bad blood runs deep.

That simple fact is what I found myself mulling over in the quiet this morning. It’s tragic when family become sworn enemies. It’s even more tragic when later generations continue feuding after the original grievances are long-since forgotten.

When Jesus said that His followers were to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us, there was no exemption made for feuding family members. Bad blood may very well make them the most difficult enemies to forgive, love, and bless.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

And So, it Begins

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And So, it Begins (CaD Jud 12) – Wayfarer

Jephthah then called together the men of Gilead and fought against Ephraim. The Gileadites struck them down because the Ephraimites had said, “You Gileadites are renegades from Ephraim and Manasseh.”
Judges 12:4 (NIV)

Feuds between family members are as old as Cain and Abel, and they have always been part of the human condition. Both within my own family history and in families I know well, I can find multiple stories of feuding family members. Some of these feuds center on very specific issues (e.g. inheritance) while others seem to be of a mysterious origin that gets labeled simply as “bad blood” between feuding members.

Our place at the lake is in central Missouri, a border state between North and South during the U.S. Civil War. Missouri hosted 29 of the 384 principle battles in the war. The third most behind Virginia and Tennessee. My great-great-grandfather fought on the Union side in the Missouri Infantry. It’s been over a hundred and fifty years since the end of the war, but vestiges of the conflict remain to this day. You can find it in the recorded history of our land, which originally stated that no person of color or “mixed-blood” could ever own any of the lots in our development. On our way to the lake, we pass a giant flagpole that sits prominently by the state highway surrounded by a tall fence and razor wire. It flies the Confederate flag. Feuds run deep and can last for many generations.

I found that today’s chapter is best understood in context. In the books of Moses and Joshua, there were two-and-a-half tribes who wanted to settle lands on the east side of the Jordan River, rather than in the Promised Land on the west side of the river. The half-tribe of Manasseh was one of them, and these east-siders became known as “Gileadites.” Jephthah led his tribe to military victory against the Ammonites.

In today’s chapter, the military contingent of the tribe of Ephraim arrives to complain that they weren’t included in the Ammonite campaign. Remember that military campaigns during this ancient period were lucrative for the victors, as the soldiers were allowed to take their share of the plunder. Jephthah attempts a diplomatic solution to the situation, but circumstances degrade into fighting with the Ephraimites insulting the half-tribe of Manasseh as “renegades” from the other side of the Jordan River. Keep in mind that Ephraim and Manasseh were the sons of Joseph, adopted by Jacob. They had every reason to be closely allied to one another as descendants of the favored son, Joseph. Instead, they fight and slaughter one another.

And so, it begins. This is the first hint of trouble between the Hebrew tribes since the settlement of the Promised Land, but it will certainly not be the last. Eventually, ten of the twelve tribes will form their own nation (Israel) and fight the other two (Judah) in their own version of North against South.

In the quiet this morning, I find myself thinking about feuds and families. I can’t help but be reminded that Jesus predicted that He would be the lightning rod that divided families as individuals leave family behind to follow Jesus. This reality, however, does not excuse feuding behavior. As the follower of Jesus, I am called to do all in my power to live at peace, to love, to bless, and to forgive even with feuding antagonists. In some cases, I’ve come to the conclusion that the loving thing to do is to place time and distance between me and thee.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Bad Blood

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Bad Blood (CaD Ob 1) – Wayfarer

Jacob will be a fire
    and Joseph a flame;
Esau will be stubble,
    and they will set him on fire and destroy him.
There will be no survivors
    from Esau.”
The Lord has spoken.
Obadiah 1:18 (NIV)

Some of the more fascinating discoveries in the excavation of my family history have been the bad blood that exists between individuals and family units. In some cases, entire family groups have had little or no relationship with one another for generations and have no idea that the distance is rooted in bad blood from generations before.

I found bad blood in both my paternal and maternal families. I discovered bad blood rising from a host of reasons including, but not limited to, unwanted pregnancies, marriages, re-marriages, inheritance, family business, addiction, and deception. Most commonly, bad blood occurred between siblings, but bad blood between parents and children was also present.

Today’s chapter is the prophecy of Obadiah who wrote a short prophetic poem against the nation of Edom at the time Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonian Empire were marching on Jerusalem around 600 B.C. The Edomites, who had considered joining the local defense against the Babylonian Empire, ended up siding with Babylon.

The Edomites were descendants of Esau, the elder twin brother of Jacob. If you were on our chapter-a-day journey through Genesis last year, you might recall the bad blood between them. Bad blood arose between brothers because of the favoritism demonstrated by both parents. Dad favored Esau. Mom favored Jacob. This led to Jacob’s deceptive stealing of Esau’s blessing and inheritance then fleeing into exile for years. All of this took place around 2000 B.C.

I did the math this morning. The bad blood Obadiah is writing about in today’s chapter between the people of Israel and the people of Edom began with a conflict between brothers 1400 years before Obadiah picked up his papyrus and stylus.

In the quiet this morning, I circle back to thinking about family. I know that a lot of people could give a rat’s rear-end about the past. I get it. I have always had a bent toward the past and a love of history. It was fascinating to learn that this is part of being an Enneagram Type Four. I have personally found it worthwhile in a couple of different respects.

First, I have gotten to correspond with and to know members of my family I would otherwise have never known. Their stories have added new layers of understanding of the family systems from which I spring. It helps me understand myself, my parents, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents and their stories in a greater context, along with a ton more grace. There’s so much in life we don’t control, including the family systems that produced us.

Second, is the old adage that “those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” I have tried very hard along my life journey to avoid the traps that lead to the kind of bad blood which can affect individuals and family groups. I can’t help but recall Paul’s words to Jesus’ followers in Rome:  “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Along my journey, I’ve discovered that living at peace requires me to care more about what matters than what doesn’t. That has meant valuing people over politics (or religion, or morality codes, etc.), choosing relationships over being right, and letting go of things of temporal value to perpetuate love that is priceless. This sometimes (often?) requires letting go of the past and choosing forgiveness so that future generations don’t systemically perpetuate bad blood they personally had nothing to do with simply because that bad blood was never dealt with and permanently infected the family system.

If you know anyone who might be encouraged by today’s post, please share.

Chapter-a-Day

Bad Blood Boiling Over

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All the royal officials at the king’s gate knelt down and paid honor to Haman, for the king had commanded this concerning him. But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor.
Esther 3:2 (NIV)

I recently read a fascinating op-ed by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a Somali by birth who became a member of the Dutch Parliament. In the article, she shares about her journey of understanding that she was culturally and systemically raised to hate Jews and blame them for everything, and how she overcame that hatred.

Feuds are as old as humanity itself. Whether it is unresolved interpersonal conflict, blood feuds between familial tribes, or long-standing hatred between people groups, there are countless examples of systemic hatred and generational conflict throughout history.

For the casual reader, there exists in Esther an underlying conflict that is not easily detected on the surface of the text. Mordecai was a Jew from the tribe of Benjamin. The tribe of Benjamin had a famous ancestor in the person of Saul, the first King of Israel. Saul had warred against the Amalekites and their King, Agag. Saul’s disobedience to God’s command in the battle against King Agag led to Saul’s downfall which, in turn, brought shame to the tribe of Benjamin. Haman was an Agagite, a descendant of Saul’s famous enemy. There are over 500 years of bad blood between Haman and Mordecai’s tribes.

This adds a whole new layer of understanding to the story. Mordecai had thwarted an assassination plot against Xerxes in yesterday’s chapter, and yet he received no real reward for his courage. Haman, in contrast, is elevated to a place of unprecedented power within Xerxes administration and no reason is provided to explain why he was deserving of such favor. The King demands that everyone bow before Haman. Bowing and kneeling before others was a common form of public respect in ancient Persian culture. It would be similar to shaking hands in our culture or taking your hat off in respect. Mordecai’s refusal to offer this basic courtesy to Haman was not treated as treasonous, but as culturally impolite and disrespectful. Mordecai was scolded and lectured, but still, he refused to bow. Each day he stood as Haman passed by and each day the insult pricked Haman’s ego and pride. With each passing day the 500 years of cultural bad blood between Benjaminite and Agagite, between Jew and Amalekite, slowly simmered to a boil. Haman plots to have Mordecai and all of his people annihilated.

This morning I find myself contemplating Jesus’ command that I forgive my enemies. This not only includes the interpersonal conflicts or wrongs which I have suffered, but I believe also includes the deeper cultural, ethnic, moral, and religious prejudices I may hold against other people groups; Prejudices that I may have been systemically and culturally taught without even realizing it.

Which brings me back to Ms. Ali, a woman from a different culture, tribe, and religion than my own. I found her willingness to confess her hatred of the Jewish people and turn from the cultural enmity she’d been taught a shining example of what Jesus asks of me. I find myself taking an honest inventory of my heart this morning. As King David (ironically, God’s replacement for the disobedient King Saul) wrote in the lyrics to his musical prayer, “Search me, God, and know my heart.” Addressing prejudice and cultural hatred has to begin with me.

Chapter-a-Day

Ancient Vengeance Cloaked in Modern Technology

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“Six of the towns you give the Levites will be cities of refuge, to which a person who has killed someone may flee.”
Numbers 35:6 (NIV)

Last night as Wendy and I sat on the couch she expressed grief and frustration over a pattern of behavior we’ve been observing on social media. It is quite common for the discourse on Facebook and Twitter and online forums to sink into petty jabs, unnecessary name calling, and a general spirit of anger, hatred, and conflict. And this, we routinely notice, from many whom we love and who eagerly claim to be followers of Jesus.

For the past month or two my chapter-a-day journey through the book of Numbers has taken me back to an ancient times. I’ve been mulling over the lives and times of Moses and the Hebrew tribes. It was, without a doubt, a very bloody and ugly period of human society. Ancient tribal societies lived in a time without laws, law enforcement agents, and a system of justice. It was a time of blood feuds, vengeance and “an eye-for-an-eye” free-for-all of individual retribution.

I can’t help but think of the stories we know like The Godfather in which warring families get embroiled in ever escalating acts of violence and murder against one another. The Tataglia family attempts to kill but only wounds Vito Corleone. Vito’s son, Sonny, actually kills Bruno Tataglia in retribution. But, that’s not enough. Michael Corleone also kills the man who orchestrated the plot and the Police Captain who protects him. But that’s not enough. Everyone goes to the mattresses. But that’s not enough. Michael eventually kills the heads of all the other mafia families to protect himself from retribution. The violence and vengeance never ends.

As Sean Connery famously quips in The Untouchables, “He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!”

What Wendy was observing last night is an example of the old saying “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” We’re still embroiling ourselves in petty, ever escalating feuds between political, religious, and social clans. Now, however, we do it from a safe distance and use words as our weapons. Somehow, we believe that this is better on the grading curve of human society. Name calling on Facebook isn’t as barbaric as literally sticking a knife in someone’s back. Or is it?

I’m reminded in the quiet this morning of Jesus words:

“For the mouth speaks [and the hand types] what the heart is full of.  A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

In today’s chapter, God through Moses is leading a radical step forward in human history. It is a formalized system of justice. The priestly clan of the Levites are scattered to live among all the other tribes. Within those tribes the priestly Levites create “cities of refuge” to which murderers and those who commit manslaughter may flee. The priests gave sanctuary so that a trial, complete with witnesses, could be conducted and a just verdict could be rendered. The accused was required to stay under the protection of priest in the city of refuge. But get this: If the High Priest died, a period of amnesty was unleashed. The accused were free. Any blood feud or vendetta of vengeance was to end.

What great foreshadowing God gives in today’s chapter for what He is going to do on a cosmic spiritual scale in the Great Story. Jesus, High Priest (Heb 6:20) in the mysterious order of Melchizedek, comes to live among us like the priests sent to live among the tribes. [cue: Silent Night] To Jesus we may flee for refuge with all the accusation, guilt, condemnation and social vengeance nipping at our heels. When Jesus, the High Priest, dies then amnesty reigns. Forgiveness and grace (literally, favor we don’t deserve and didn’t earn) are poured out to the accused and condemned. Prisoners are freed. Vengeance ends.

Wait, there’s more. Those of us who follow Jesus are called “a royal priesthood” (1 Peter 2:9). Spiritually, I become a Levite of our time. I’m a priest in the order of Jesus. I am to be a person and place where “others” (even those of other tribes I don’t particularly like) may flee to find protection, understanding, kindness, mercy, grace, compassion, and justice.

So, I have to ask myself: When I allow myself to get stirred up  and let that f*ing, clueless, ignorant, MORON on Facebook know just what a #*&%-eating, #@)#-faced, #)@(#* they are… am I extending the royal, priestly rites handed down to me by Jesus? Am I being marked by the Spirit of protection, forgiveness, grace, mercy, and compassion that I claim to have received from Jesus, my High Priest? Am I fulfilling my calling to be part of that royal priesthood? Or, am I perpetuating a deep, very entrenched human part of me that is given to bloody, feudal vengeance cloaked in 21st century technology?

Ugh.

Lord, have mercy on me. Help me lay down my weaponized words; My vengeance which I try to costume as “justice” and “righteousness.” Make me a refuge for “others” – all “others.”

Chapter-a-Day

Chapter-a-Day Numbers 32

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estranged
Image by Norma Desmond via Flickr

They continued, “If you think we’ve done a good job so far, give us this country for our inheritance. Don’t make us go across the Jordan.” Numbers 32:5 (MSG)

Land is a funny thing. Along life’s journey I’ve watched families and friends become enemies over land disputes. I’ve watched people fall into deep bitterness, anger, and resentment over arguments about boundary lines and the inheritance of land. I’ve written a lot about how things have changed since the time of Moses, but there are some things that I observe never change.

I knew two upstanding men who, each week at church, claimed a pew on the opposite side of one another in the sanctuary. They’d been feuding over a boundary line between their farms for decades and refused to speak to one another or sit near one another in church. In another case, I watched as parents used land and their children’s inheritance as a tool of manipulation and power which ultimately divided the family. I’ve seen siblings back bite and slander their brothers and sisters throughout their parent’s funeral as they squabble over who is going to get what in the estate. I’ve known people so focused on maximizing and increasing their land wealth that they isolated themselves until their land became a relational island.

Today, I’m reminded that the things of God can’t be bought or sold, nor can they be hoarded, deeded, or put into our last will and testament. Land, like all earthly possessions will end up possessing us if we do not guard our hearts closely.

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