Why didn't I die at birth, my first breath out of the womb my last? Job 3:11 (MSG)
This past weekend, Wendy and I were visiting friends. There were two little guys about two years old running around and I had fun observing as they went from perfectly happy little boys to full emotional meltdown when one little thing didn't go their way. Let the tantrums begin!
As much as I hate to admit it, I often get into cycles in which I have internal tantrums of my own. I can feel my emotions on a hair trigger. If someone says the wrong thing or a circumstance refuses to go the way I want, BAM! My emotions react in off-the-charts fashion. I can feel it happening. I can consciously know that I'm overreacting, but I don't always know how to get myself out of it.
I was struck today by the extremes of Job's despair. He had experienced years and years of abundant blessing. Now, after a brief period of tragedy he curses his entire life and wishes he'd never been born. I'm not criticizing him. I'm identifying with him. I think Job's emotional reaction is entirely human and completely understandable. Sometimes, like grown up two-year-olds, we lose the governor on our emotions. Meltdowns are a natural part of the human experience.
God, help me to accept my humanity and all that goes with it. At the same time, give me the grace to respond to my emotions and learn from them not merely react in a way that negatively impacts myself and everyone around me.