Chapter-a-Day: Psalm 115

Negative...again. He gives childless couples a family, gives them joy as the parents of children. Hallelujah!  Psalm 115:9 (MSG)

For two years, Wendy and I have been praying for a child. For two very long years we've been deperately trying to get pregnant. I'll spare you all the details of what a long journey it's been, but it has been a very long, painful, expensive journey. I'm tired of praying. I'm emotionally exhausted from tears and faith unrewarded. I'm tired of the monthly roller coaster of hope and disappointment. I'm tired of sweeping up the pieces of my wife's broken heart every four weeks and unsuccessfully trying to glue them back together.

For the past three days the psalms have proclaimed promises of children to the childless.

God, I'm tired of trusting. I'm scared of hoping anymore.

Creative Commons photo courtesy of Flickr and slayer23

3 thoughts on “Chapter-a-Day: Psalm 115”

  1. I continue to pray for you, Tom.
    1 Not to us, O LORD, not to us
    but to your name be the glory,
    because of your love and faithfulness. (NIV)
    In high school choir we sang a song from this chapter. Not to us O Lord. The moment I read the first verse, even from the Message, the lyrics and music from that song consumed my mind. I love that about music, specifically Christian music. I have memorized Scripture over the years, but nothing remains with me like lyrics from a song. Thank you Jesus!

  2. Tom, my eyes well up with tears as I read your post today. I know that you & Wendy are great parents to Taylor & Madison; but your longing to have a child together is right & pure – the Lord brought you two together … I’ve wondered why He hasn’t brought a new life out of this union yet? I have prayed to the Lord for the two of you at times. I’ve even had a dream about the two of you becoming new parents. I don’t have any words to make it better, though I wish I did.
    In my own life, I am not praying & hoping for the same desire as you & Wendy; but I do understand praying & hoping with great longing and feeling that my prayers are ” hitting the ceiling. ” I know that isn’t truth … but it just doesn’t feel like it at times. The enemy seems to use the times that we are physically/emotionally exhausted to attack aggressively. I pray that the Lord send extra warrior-angels to surround you, Wendy, and your home during this time of disappointment and pain.
    One great thing about the Psalms is that David does his crying out to the Lord in all sorts of ways … he feels … yet he declares the faithfulness of the Lord. David recognizes the Truth even when he doesn’t feel it. You & Wendy know the Lord and His Truth, but you are earnestly hurting; so I ask the Lord to turn His face towards you today and surround you with His comfort and peace.
    Love you two! ~ Rainey

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