I said, "I've been thrown away, thrown out, out of your sight." Jonah 2:4a (MSG)
Squeezed into a giant fish's intestinal tract, I can image that you would feel thrown away and cast off. It's not exactly a position of power and influence. And yet, I don't have to be swallowed by a big fish and pulled to the depths of the ocean to feel cast aside.
I compare myself to giants of the faith and the influential movers and shakers in our culture and feel impotent and insignificant. I have no influence. What can I do?
I'm reminded of my checkered past, my brokenness, and am convinced that God would never use such a wretch as me. I'm far from perfect. Why would God use me?
I'm just an aging guy in a small town. I'm simply another bozo on the bus trying to find my way home. What do I have to do with the plans and purposes of the Almighty?
It's easy to fall into fish gut thinking, like Jonah. Nevertheless, it was in the midst of Jonah's weakness and brokenness that God was preparing to use him in the most powerful ways. When my shame is at its greatest depths, God's grace is deeper still.